On Nostalgia

The 90s were great, weren't they?
[disclaimer: I'm a bit drunk and Boris Johnson PM has just announced further restrictions on our freedoms... I dunno, man, I'm too drunk to have an actual coherent thought about this. I should've eaten that jacket potato in the oven. I'm a fool]
 My friend Sarah and I often talk about the 90s. We discuss it in a way that knows that the 90s were fucking awesome. And they were. Except, personally, I didn't know Sarah - that sucks. I was a bit mental for the first half - that sucks. I was a bit lost - that sucks. BUT, Radiohead... they were awesome in the 90s. And Blur, Oasis, all the "alternative" music scene what I got into... good shit, guys.
Anyway, my point was nostalgia. Nostalgia is what you make it. I could focus on some dark bullshit when talking about the past OR I could be like, yeah, guys, the past was like so awesome. Remember this?
Anyway, I'm in this weird bubble where I remember some shit that my generation doesn't and remember things from the generation above me, or beneath me... and that's one of the things that makes me oh so special... 😂

On Social Distancing (on my birthday)

So, we're in lockdown. All the pubs are closed but there is still booze in the supermarkets and I'm grateful that this has happened at a time when we have the internet and I have a new laptop. My worry is that I'm going to get so used to this way of socialising that I'll just do it via Zoom or video conferencing more often.
Doubt it.
So, how are we all doing? Some morons are still going out and being morons and I'm allowing the conspiracy part of my brain to go a bit crazy and think that there is some sinister reason for all of this. But then I watch some comedy and calm down. Imagine how much of a field day the people who think the earth is flat are having? You know who I mean. I also wonder if those doomsday preppers are hanging out in their bunkers yet? What's the point of prepping if you don't use it?

Although we're living in a golden age of streaming television I would like to tell you something. There is a LOT of shit to be watched. The amount of sub-par mediocre, laugh-track sit-coms is actually appalling. Who can I complain to about this? Have you seen that new Matt Le Blanc shit? It has THREE seasons. Three! How? And then some shows get cancelled far too early and the world is crazy. <Gestures vaguely at everything> See?

Today is my birthday. I'm going to go for a walk, like a wild woman. PARTY! I'm also going to video call with a friend. And drink a bottle of wine. I swear I've spoken on the phone more in the past 3 days than in the past 3 months. It's also UK Mother's Day today (so my birthday was already stolen). Luckily, deliveries are still happening. So, I'm still in the good books.

Anyway, don't be a dick. Stay indoors and don't buy too much toilet paper.

on Cancelling 2020

I don't know if  you've heard or not but basically 2020 is the end of the world (as we know it) because there is a flu-like virus and we're all going to die. I'm sorry that I had to be blunt and break it to you like that but the world leaders aren't being as blunt as me. So, you know, someone needs to be honest. I volunteer as tribute. You know why? I live alone and after 2 days I am bored as fuck. I've spoken on the telephone three times and had 2 video calls. I also left the flat twice but only to go out as far as Tesco Metro and McDonalds, i.e. not far at all. Shit is mental, y'all.

      When I was 11 years old I didn't go to school for about 9 months and I went a teeny bit crazy. Look, it was 1993/4 and it was a weird time for everyone, wasn't it? I don't really know why I didn't go to school or why I stayed indoors but I feel like this period of my life goes a very long way in explaining why I am peculiar in the vein that I am. Like, I'm not WEIRD weird but I'm a bit off-kilter. Anyway, all this is to say that I think that all of us "off-kilter" weirdos will be fine in the coming months. We will cope well with the weirdness and be grateful that it's the future. It's 2020, we have the internet, WiFi, mobile phones!!! and Facebook... et cetera. Let's be glad we have all that. We could be so much more worse off. And my point is: I survived that isolation and you will survive this isolation too. 

     The world will be different, is different already, in a few months time. People will show their true colours and some peoples' true colours will be horrible colours indeed but there will be good people. Bright people. People whose colours are beautiful. Always look for the helpers. And they will be there. Amidst the wankers fighting over the toilet paper and profiteering over tinned soup when someone is starving there will be people offering a hand and giving what they have. Be one of those. As much as you can. 

     Be nice.