On Feeling Overwhelmed in the Time of Coronavirus

What is this "new normal" anyway? What was the old normal? 
What are the latest government guidelines? I stopped paying attention when Boris Johnson gave such conflicting advice that I was left scratching my head. Stay in, don't stay in, go out, shake it all about. Go to the park with strangers but don't hang out with your family. Oof. So, what's the latest? Everything is back to normal but it's a new normal where we wear masks (unless you're being a bit of a prick, to be honest) and stay at least 1 metre away from everyone (except when you're in the supermarket where basically all of that goes out of the window). 

So, here's a thought I've been discussing at length. 

Life is tough enough at the best of times (is that just me?) and my mood fluctuates wildly most weeks (mostly downward if I'm honest) but lately this has got worse. And it's not just me. Here's why, I think: All of our regular struggles are being played out against a backdrop of chaos, misinformation, a global pandemic, and the worst recession we've seen for 300 years. Although, let's face it - how much money was even around 300 years ago? It's a crazy comparison to make in my opinion. Also, we weren't there so how can we compare? There wasn't even the internet 300 years ago. What a savage time altogether.

So is it any wonder that we are all feeling so despondent and despairing? There's an abundance of crazy people around and we have the joy of seeing it on whatever social media platform you choose to look at, there are incompetent leaders in the UK and the US and look, whatever your political persuasion is you must admit they've made a pig of this whole situation. We're no New Zealand after all. 

People's incompetence, although usually staggering, is worse than usual and people have a problem with wearing masks. And here's why: the masks protect others. If we were all to wear one (or those of us who absolutely can) then we'd be in a much better situation now, it's just science. But, as I said, they protect others. If they were marketed as protecting YOU from others more people would wear them with less fuss. And this is nothing new, by the way, We haven't become more unreasonable. During the 1918 Flu Pandemic the exact same thing happened. Except that then air travel wasn't quite the thing as it is now. 

But hey, at least terrorism isn't such a massive thing at the moment.

The 7 Deadly Sins #4 Wrath

Righteous and furious anger. Man, feeling angry feels so good. Doesn't it? That rage! Bubbling through your veins. Maybe your eyesight goes black or red and there's a pounding in your ears. Ooh boy. That's the good shit. And then afterwards? That post-orgasmic feeling where you are empty? Maybe the remnants of adrenaline are leaving your central nervous system? If you're anything like me then you are filled with shame, and pain. Maybe tears course down your face? Was it worth it? 

No. 

Wrath is such a bad thing, man. What a deep and philosophical thing to write. No, but seriously. Yes, there probably is a time and a place. But it really is no good for your soul. Like, it just doesn't feel like it is. That afterburn. That sense of real awareness that your anger was useless to you. 

Why is wrath a deadly sin? Anger isn't. And, let's be very clear: anger is not wrath. Wrath is that anger that has tipped over the edge. Anger is understandable. I am angry that there is injustice in the world. That people are not equal or equitable or whichever I decide it ought to be. Anger is raging against the machine. Wrath is useless. Wrath doesn't accomplish what it needs to. Wrath is punishing the undeserving. Wrath is too much, man. No, really, I am so deep and philosophical. 

[spoiler alert for a really old movie you have no business not to have watched yet]

Wrath is the end of the movie Se7en where, oh my goodness, what an ending. Why does Gwyneth have to die? She hadn't even thought of Goop, let alone started selling candles which smell like her vagina (and if that isn't a sentence ripped straight from dystopian fiction then I don't know what is). Brad killing Kevin Spacey is not going to get his wife back (look, I've forgotten all of the characters' names and I will NOT look them up) and it's just going to fuck his life up beyond belief. Kevin Spacey is getting what he wants, basically suicide by cop, and Morgan Freeman is so near to retirement. This is only going to adversely affect Brad - who does some great lip licking acting in this film...

Do you know what? I think I've focused too much on the movie... 

But you get my point? 

So, do I commit this sin? You know, not as often as you might expect for someone so full of anger. I see the senselessness of it. Also,  HATE it when I allow others to know that they have upset me. HATE IT. So, I pretend they don't then drink a bottle of Jack Daniels and listen to sad songs. I have at least 7 playlists.