On Conspiracy Theories

Look, I know it's hard to believe this but the moon is real, the Queen is not a shape-shifting reptilian, the Coronavirus isn't caused by 5G, Bill Gates doesn't want to track your every movement (our phones already do that anyway, guys), and they aren't sacrificing people at Bohemian Grove as part of Satanic rituals. And even if these things were all true we still have to get up, go to work (if you have a job, obviously), pay our bills, sleep, eat, breathe... the usual mess of life. So, what the heck difference does it make?

Let's have a quick whizz round some of these.

The Moon is FAKE! 

I read a tweet that was like, "oh if someone lays an outlandish conspiracy theory on you just tell them something more outlandish" (I'm paraphrasing) Like: Oh I don't believe in the moon landings. So you counter with, "wait, you believe there's a moon!?"
Funny tweet. Except there IS a conspiracy theory that the moon is a mere holographic projection. That the moon WAS once real but now it isn't. Or that it is actually a spaceship. Or something. For real. That's a real thing that people believe. And you thought flat-earthers were crazy.
You must read this: Hollow Moon wiki

Unsurprisingly, David Icke believes that the moon is a spacecraft.

The Queen is a Lizard!

Well, her name is Liz. Proof.

This is one of the more crazy ones which mixes together so many other conspiracies that it's hard to even know where to begin. So I won't. Instead I will quickly say that I worked at Waterstone's (book shop chain) for a number of years and for most of my time there I worked in the Pop. Psychology and Mind, Body, Spirit (MBS) sections - and health and religion but we're not here to talk about those.
Pop. Psychology was a fancy way of saying "Self-Help" and MBS was just where we put Paulo Coelho books, books about witchcraft for teen girls going through a The Craft phase, tarot reading stuff, and novelty crystal balls.
Somehow David Icke fell into one of these sections and to be perfectly honest I cannot remember which one it was. Like, his books shouldn't have been in my section. Maybe in history or something. Anyway, I wasn't responsible for deciding what went where. My story is that David Icke is very popular among young men (18-25) so whenever a young bloke would wander into my section they would ask me for David Icke books. It got so common and usual that one time I just handed a David Icke book (the latest one) to the guy approaching me with a question forming. But then I realised my mistake when he looked at me shocked and confused and stuttered, "how did you know!!???" and I had to state, confidently, that I was merely very good at my job and wasn't just profiling everyone that came near my section (oh, young teen girl with thick black eyeliner wants a book about wicca? Colour me surprised).

This lizard thing is sometimes written off as racism against Jewish people. But, for David Icke at least, it really isn't racism. He really believes in lizard people. (I may have flicked through all of his books).

The coronavirus-5G link.

Guys, I don't know what to tell you except that people are scared of change. People are scared by new technology. Why wasn't this a thing with 3 or 4G?
I remember reading about microwaves being really bad for you when I was a kid and I was worried about why we had brought a microwave oven into our homes if they were so bad. Listen, I have had a microwave oven in my life since I can remember and I am fine. And anything about me that isn't fine is really nothing to do with microwaves. It's all the psychological damage.
The fact of the matter is this: we live in a capitalist system. Capitalism does not want consumers to be dead. Dead people don't buy anything. It's not a workable model for the capitalist elite. It just isn't. I can't stress that enough. What this virus proves is that we/politics/capitalism are not stronger than nature. Any tsunami or earthquake teaches us that. 

Bill Gates wants to track us.

Guys, we are tracked. 

The world is chaotic

Conspiracy theories give people the idea that there is an order to the world. A secret cabal of bankers, Jews, lizards, Satanists, whatever are the movers and shakers who control all. And yes, there is an elite and there are powerful people who decide certain fates to befall us, e.g. the fashion industry decides what's in fashion - right, but not to the extent that these theorists think they do. 

Some (mostly boring ones - never the interesting or outlandish ones) turn out to be true. They really have practiced eugenics, they really have killed people, they really do cover shit up. I am not naive. I do not "drink the Kool-Aid" - not fun fact: it wasn't Kool-Aid in Jonestown and most people didn't willingly drink it but I'll write about cults another time.
I do think that there are people in back rooms making shady deals and planning bullshit but I do not think they are adept enough are keeping these wilder conspiracies under wraps. You know? 

One of the more interesting points about people who buy into these ideas is this: often their own lives have been beset by tragedy or are spiralling out of control. This is just like any other gang. A need for community, solidarity, friendship. Maybe we should all reach out to each other? The only problem is that most people make their minds up about a thing and never back down. Perhaps with patience and understanding...? What a wild idea.

And anyway, I think that these crazy conspiracy theories are what they want you to believe. The truth is gonna be far, far worse.