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"Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I'm begging of you please don't take my man
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please don't take him just because you can
Your beauty is beyond compare
With flaming locks of auburn hair
With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green
Who is Jolene? Why is she taking Dolly's man, if we assume that Dolly the singer is the "my" of the song. Jolene sounds like she's of Irish or at least Celtic descent. And sounds a little bit like some sort of demon-temptress. Ivory skin, emerald green eyes. How did Dolly's "man" come to meet Jolene? What does she do for a living? I will never know and I cannot help but think about the mysterious Jolene. Listening to Smooth FM means I hear this song a lot. At least once a day.
"Your smile is like a breath of spring
Your voice is soft like summer rain
And I cannot compete with you, Jolene
Dolly, you do not need to compete with Jolene. Is Jolene a homewrecker? Fine. What a cow. But, it's your man who is the problem here. I am sick of the woman being raked over hot coals for being the "other" woman. The man is equally to blame, if not more. We are to assume (although based on nothing) that Jolene is a single woman. Dolly's man is in a relationship. HE is the more culpable. HE is the homewrecker.
I want to know what a voice like summer rain sounds like.
"He talks about you in his sleep
There's nothing I can do to keep
From crying when he calls your name, Jolene
Listen, he might be saying "Jolene" in his sleep and that's upsetting but I once downloaded one of those apps that records noises whilst you sleep (I wanted to prove that I don't snore. I don't) and I said some nonsense babbling... don't mean nothing. And, Dolly, don't cry. If he wants to leave you for Jolene, fuck 'im.
"And I can easily understand
How you could easily take my man
But you don't know what he means to me, Jolene
Dolly, stop with the low self esteem. Relationships are complicated and are not a competition. I say, with low self-esteem and no relationship. [Coaches don't play]
"Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I'm begging of you please don't take my man
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please don't take him just because you can
And anyway, have we considered that maybe Jolene doesn't want your man? Maybe Dolly's man is being a creepy perv?
"You could have your choice of men
But I could never love again
He's the only one for me, Jolene
Even if your man is one in a million, there are still 7,000 people out there like him. Also, I think it's a bit much to assume that you could never love again. Look at the rate of second and third marriages. Dolly, you can find another. And probably better, by the sounds of it.
Wow, so many things here. Your happiness depends on YOU, Dolly. No one else. And frankly it's unfair to behave otherwise. Why don't we ask your man what he wants? AND do you really want to be what your partner might consider to be second best? And if he doesn't leave you for Jolene, he'll leave you for Angela or Pamela or Sandra or Rita or Monica or Erica or Tina or Mary or Jessica*.
Hopefully, now that I have written this I shall stop thinking about Jolene every goddamn day. I'm a hopeful sort.
Who is Jolene? Where is she from? What does she do? Just prance about being enticing to weak men? What's Dolly's fella got to say about all of this? I have equally intrusive thoughts about the Brandy and Monica song, 'The Boy is Mine'. Kelly and I would change the lyrics to "the boy is yours". That's the whole problem with that song. You think I would FIGHT to keep a cheater? Nah, allow it bruv. Have him. Safe, safe, safe.
*the girls from Mambo Number 5
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